Thursday’s Top Ten
The following is a sardonic bordering on sarcastic list of things we New Yorkers feel the need to explain to the visitors, tourists and out of towers who venture into our metropolis! This list goes beyond my byline of “Oops I bit my tongue in chic”; I gleaned this information from Thrillst NY. Some things just have to be ‘splained!
- We don’t call it “The Big Apple”, “New York” or even “NYC” – It’s The City.
- Everybody jaywalks – Go ahead, don’t be afraid, chances are you won’t get hit.
- The Italian food in Little Italy sucks – Probably because hardly any Italians live there.
- Cabbies don’t take advantage of tourists – They take advantage of ANYONE who doesn’t pay attention. The answer to “Do you want to take the FDR”? is always NO.
- YES, it’s always this loud and NO it doesn’t bother us – For the love of God, stop covering your ears every time a subway screeches or an ambulance goes by.
- You have to walk faster than that – We don’t have highways, we have sidewalks. Would you stop dead in the middle of the Interstate to take a photo of some random tall building? No? Then sweet Jesus don’t do it here.
- South Street Seaport is totally irrelevant – We don’t set foot on this anachronistic hell-dock unless we’re going to Beekman’s Beer Garden. Even then we go in the back entrance to avoid the crowds of people taking photos of the man o’ war.
- The streets are short, the avenues are long and it’s a grid – Unless you’re in the West Village; that place is essentially a maze.
- That annoying TV in the back of the cab – You can turn it off, and if the credit card swipe below it doesn’t work, use the one above it.
- Our bars close at 4 am every night – None of this 1 am or 2 am nonsense or “4 am on Saturdays only” – We booze it up every night till 4 am and still make it to brunch then next day.
A shout-out to Gail, who is my constant resource for funny, weird, bizarre, interesting, and informative articles. This one from Thrillist was a doozy!