I’m so pleased to introduce MENTAL HEALTH MONDAY to my readers. I hope this becomes a regular feature and you will avail yourself of this opportunity to post a question or concern or contact our contributor, Barry Lubetkin, Phd, ABPP.
Barry Lubetkin is the Director of the Institute for Behavior Therapy and past president of the American Board of Behavior Therapy. He has been a guest on Oprah Winfrey‘s show, a quoted source for numerous articles and a published author. His latest book is Why Do I Need You To Love Me In Order To Like Myself.
Mental health tip for January 27, 2014
Nearly all anger feelings and outbursts are preceded by the cognitive belief represented by the words “should” or “must”….“He should never act that way”…“She must act more fairly toward me”…“He must stop drinking, I can’t stand it anymore”. “The teacher should do more to discipline that child”….etc. When we make unreasonable and inflexible demands on others or on the world to act in a certain way. We set ourselves up for rage and upset when our irrational expectations are not met. It is far better to wish or desire others to change rather than demanding and requiring them to do so…Or as famous Psychologist Albert Ellis once said: “Stop SHOULDING on yourself!!!”