I’m going to start with the back story….
Living near the ocean does have a few drawbacks, really very, very few; in fact the only one I’m talking about is the dampness. Not the kind that seeps in through the screen door and windows and makes the furniture feel damp and cool – no, not that kind. But living near the ocean, things like snails and slugs tend to appear unwelcome on my porch or sidewalk now and again. I have abhorrent fear and anxiety about slugs in particular.
I mean they are so slimy and icky looking – like some kind of spineless blob from outer space that seems to traverse without legs. I literally can’t stand the sight of them. We’ve come home a couple of evenings over the years and found a long slug on the sidewalk and I got the willies whatever they are!! I make Peter pick up the slug on a piece of cardboard or newspaper and insist that he toss it over the fence into our neighbor’s yard. They (slugs) are SO GROSS.
Two days ago, my contact lens was bothering me and those of you who know me, know that I have a history of problems with the lens in my eye because I have some scarring on my cornea, but that’s another story. I’ve been giving the eye a vacation from the lens and trying to use glasses. However, my glasses are not prescription, just readers and since they are really only good for close up reading or work, I didn’t have them on when I went upstairs to change my clothes. It was dark and the door to the porch was open and our neighbors across the backyard were home – thank God their doors were shut, they must have had their air conditioners on. I took off my clothes and put on pajamas and hung up my pants and I was barefoot. I moved the door to a more open position now that I was dressed and stepped away. When I looked back and down, this is what I saw…..
Needless to say I screamed, “Peter, Peter, PETER!” Still no answer; The TV was on upstairs and downstairs and he was in the kitchen. I grabbed the remote, hit mute, went to the top of the stairs and screamed again, “Peter! You better come up here NOW”! He came flying up the stairs, out of breath and said, “What is it? What? Is there a bat”? I pointed to the floor and said, “LOOK! You better get it out of here, OMG how did it get in the house? OMG I could have stepped on it”
With wife on the verge of hysteria, my husband runs downstairs and grabs paper towels while noting OUT LOUD that there were no more paper towels!! He returned and got on his hands and knees while I fretted and fumed and worried sitting on the bed. He stood up quickly with paper towel crumpled in his fist and I said, “What did you do with it?” He showed me……
I laughed so hard I thought I would either cry or pee in my pants! I mean, “Really, really?” All in the life and times of living with Lori.